One If By Clam, Two If By Sea.A hurricane demolishes the majority of the buildings in Quahog—except the Drunken Clam; however, the bar's owner leaves for Florida sells it to an Englishman named Nigel Pinchley, who turns it into a British stereotypical pub. Upset over the loss of their favorite bar and failing to find another one, Peter, Quagmire, Cleveland, and Joe storm a British ship in an attempt to recreate the Boston Tea Party with beer. The following night, the pub burns down; Peter, Quagmire, Cleveland, and Joe are blamed and thrown in jail. In prison, one of the toughest criminals Joe ever jailed, Steve Bellows, plans to kill him and the others at midnight on Saturday. Meanwhile, in a parody of My Fair Lady, Stewie tries to teach Nigel's daughter, Eliza, to speak "proper" English and overcome her "common" Cockney accent as part of a bet with Brian; although he manages to teach her how to speak "properly", at the party, she urinates in front of everybody, slipping back to her Cockney accent and making Stewie lose the bet. Lois, Bonnie, and Loretta decide to investigate the bar's destruction, and discover that Nigel had withdrawn a large amount of insurance money the day before the pub burned down, they become suspicious. Lois seduces Nigel into confessing, and his insurance agent discovers the entire story. In jail, Peter, Quagmire, Cleveland, and Joe are rescued before Steve has a chance to kill them, and the Drunken Clam is reinstated to its normal form. In London, Nigel is hanged and Eliza is sent to an orphanage.